I watched the movie “Bee Season” last night. It’s mostly about a girl who has a mystical talent for spelling, but there are other subplots including her brother joining the Hare Krishnas. So I got to see a little dancing and chanting Hare Krishna kirtan.
Of all things, Harinam sankirtan is my favorite. When I think about it, I miss it a lot.
Remembering the kirtans at Gita-nagari, after a few moments the ones with Vakresvara Pandit das came to mind. They made me feel ill. I remember how he would mangle the Holy Name and arrange Krishna’s names in irregular combinations; how he would bang the wompers and play the crowd, visibly feeding off of the ego gratification. I remember seeing sannyasis dancing to that crap, as I walked out in disgust.
I couldn’t comprehend how anyone could appreciate how anyone could appreciate such obvious disrespect for Sri Krishna’s holy name. Yet it was going on before my eyes. This was before I had read Vakresvara’s child molestation case, so that wasn’t even a factor.
I don’t know where I’m going with this; I guess I’m just sorry I had to experience it. It may have been the beginning of my feeling like an outsider in ISKCON.