Personal thoughts on ISKCON membership.
There’s been a lot of Internet Hare Krishna chatter lately about membership in ISKCON, and it’s a subject that I’ve been thinking about as it relates to me personally. In an ideal world, there would be no question for me. When I began my aspiration for devotional service, Krishna said to get some association of His devotees, and automatically I thought of ISKCON, even neglecting some subtle warnings He gave. Some years later, when I was first confronted by the rtvik issue, I decided to put off investigating it primarily because all my friends were in ISKCON and I did not want to be alienated or forced out of their association. Unfortunately, we’re not in an ideal world.
I remember after a few years of pursuing Krishna consciousness, I observed the peculiar fact that my devotional life seemed stronger when I did not have much devotee association. In fact, I’ve been through a handful of major and minor crises due to the influence of ISKCON devotees. Some of the bigger ones were when we found out about the New Vrindavana crimes while living there (1998), learning of the gurukula child abuse (1999), and being driven out of Gita-nagari for speaking up in opposition to a child molester who was praised by a few big gurus (2005). Somehow I managed to bounce back after each of these tribulations, but I’m beginning to wonder if there is a broader message that I’ve been suppressing, which is that perhaps I should reconsider my identity as a member of ISKCON.
It’s beginning to seem that if I don’t make a decision on this, it will be made for me. One devotee friend of mine was banned from Gita-nagari several years ago, so he finally built a small temple himself, a short walk down the road from the Gita-nagari driveway. Actually he once mentioned to me that his land was a part of the original Gita-nagari purchase, so he considers it also Gita-nagari, though I’m sure the ISKCON leadership would see it differently. Despite being forced out of the main devotee community, this gentleman has remained faithful to Srila Prabhupada and very enthusiastic in his spiritual life. I presume he has some personal flaws like the rest of us, but I admire his determination and demeanor, especially after what he’s been through. Naturally when he called me to announce the opening of his new temple, I was eager to attend.
There were just a few devotees at the temple opening, and ironically I heard later that the Sunday Feast at the ISKCON temple was cancelled that day. Apparently the Gita-nagari Temple President is somewhat infuriated by the existence of this new temple, as evidenced by the fact that one devotee was banned from Gita-nagari for helping announce the event and cooking the feast. Personally I think that taking such measures to deny a faithful follower of Srila Prabhupada the association of devotees on his own property is unbefitting conduct of a Vaisnava and outright cruel. I will never be able to accept such dirty politics among devotees. Oddly enough, for at least the past four years there has been a photo of Srila Prabhupada on the Gita-nagari bulletin board that is captioned with a quote of him saying there is no politics in Vaisnava society. It makes me wonder what kind of society ISKCON has become.
It so happens that I’ve also been wondering if I’ve been blacklisted because of attending a few programs at the “other” temple. A few weeks ago the temple president sent out an e-mail to community members, including several who live out of state, but my wife and I were not on the recipient’s list. Someone forwarded the e-mail to me noting that fact, but I haven’t made an issue of it. I’m still considering it. Furthermore, in the e-mail the TP said he was meeting with the families in the community, but he hasn’t met with us or contacted us about it. I can’t imagine that was an accident. It’s beginning to seem like he doesn’t consider us a part of the community, although we have not been overtly informed of this apparent fact.
I’m a little surprised, because I thought we had a deal. A few months ago he called me aside to discuss the fact that I believe Srila Prabhupada intended to remain the diksa guru for ISKCON. He confirmed that I’m aware of the GBC’s position on the issue, acknowledged my family’s value in the community, and requested that I not preach my view on this subject to existing members in the Gita-nagari community. I accepted his proposal and thought that keeping my end of the deal would be sufficient. Now it seems maybe not. We went to the Sunday Feast last weekend, and my wife had a cordial discussion with the TP’s wife, and I joined in after paying my respects to Srila Prabhupada and the Deities. Though I only briefly saw the TP and didn’t get to speak with him, the vibe we got from him seemed less friendly. I haven’t decided whether I should discuss my concerns with him or just let it go. One thing is that at least two devotees have had articles anonymously published on the Sampradaya Sun in the past several weeks, complaining about Gita-nagari management. It crossed my mind that I could be a suspect in that, but in fact I had nothing to do with any of those articles, nor do I know who did.
On a side note, one of the issues in the matter of ISKCON membership is the acceptance of the GBC’s authority versus the authority of the diksa guru. This is something that remains a question from several angles, and we may see it various ways depending on whether one is wearing the hat of the GBC, the guru, the disciple, or the ISKCON member. As I recall, there was an article and comments on Dandavats.com (heavily moderated, no doubt) a few months ago, and the issue is not resolved. Yes, more than thirty years after Srila Prabhupada’s disappearance, they still haven’t figured out how to balance authority between the GBC and the initiating gurus. There can only be one reason for that problem, which is that Srila Prabhupada didn’t give any guidance on it. It really is an important issue, and I can’t believe Srila Prabhupada would have entirely neglected it, except for one simple reason: He did not intend there to be initiating gurus in ISKCON, other than himself, just as he was doing before. Take that one fact, which is supported by abundant evidence, and the problem ceases to exist.
Of course, my saying that could get me banned from ISKCON, but what can I do? I became an aspiring devotee because of seeking the absolute truth; not for society, friendship, and so-called love. I can’t change my view unless I’m convinced that another view is superior, and the threat to revoke my membership has exactly the opposite effect. What this comes down to is that I like being a part of ISKCON but I don’t depend on ISKCON for my relationship with Srila Prabhupada or with Krishna. If ISKCON wants aspiring devotees like me, I’m here and available along with my family; but if push comes to shove, I’d rather give up my membership than my ideals. Hare Krishna.
Dearest Pandu prabhu,
My humble opinion is that no one can exile us from the real Iskcon, as long as we remain at Srila Prabhupada’s lotus feet. The real Iskcon is not the institutional Iskcon we see today. I have also struggled for years to remain “in the association of devotees,” gritting my teeth and keeping silent about injustices. But no more.
No one has driven me out of Iskcon. I just withdrew more and more, to the point where my absence from the temple has become conspicuous. A few months ago, I received an unexpected call from our national GBC chairman who opened the conversation with the words “they’re saying you have gone over to Narayana Maharaj.” Um, excuse me, “they”? Yes, he couldn’t define whom “they” were. His assumption was so different to the reality of my situation that I almost laughed out loud. I have never even met or corresponded with Narayana Maharaj, but because I was no longer rendering as much service or giving as much laxmi as I did in the past to the Isckon temple in our town, someone said something to someone, hence the ridiculous phone call. In all my 12 years of Iskcon membership, no one in an official capacity has bothered to call me, or inquire as to my welfare. But the minute I withdraw my time and energy, they make contact. As if I will be lured back by veiled threats, unfounded accusations or cheap declarations of affection: “You do know that we love you,” our hostile GBC suddenly declared, to my utmost surprise – and complete disbelief.
Iskcon’s GBCs are diplomats not brahmanas: they will hound anyone whom they perceive to pose the smallest threat to their hegemony. The gold standard of true love is Srila Prabhupada, not the cheap fool’s gold which the GBC and Iskcon gurus offer in its place. Sooner or later, a sincere seeker will discover the difference between the genuine article and the cheap imitation. It’s natural. It comes with maturity. Initially, I lamented my isolation from other unquestioning Iskcon members, but now I’m willing to see what Krsna has been revealing to me all along: there can be no further spiritual nourishment for me at present in the current Iskcon. Bas.
I feel much more peaceful since I have left, although I have frequent nightmares about the spiritual abuse I sustained and simultaneously colluded with in Iskcon. Krsna has not deserted me, but instead sent me the association of sincere Prabhupadanugas. I remain eternally grateful. He has set me free.
Pandu, you are an intelligent, independently thoughtful person. Do not throw the pearls of your bhakti before ignorant (although perhaps well-meaning)swine.
your servant,
All glories to Srila Prabhupada.
Haribol Pandu –
We’ve spoken from time to time at Gita Nagari or local programs, it’s always been cordial and I have no issues with you. I check in on your blog every few weeks just because I like to see and read about what people I know are into and doing in their lives. Sometimes it’s way out there, sometimes it’s interesting, sometimes I think you are crazy and sometimes I think you make sense…the thing is that anyone can say and post what they want online. This is your forum and you can express yourself anyway you feel fit. I get that.
Typically every time after I read your blog about an anti-ISKCON rant I leave saying to myself “Who the hell really cares?”. I am not about to get into a philosophical diatribe with you, I am just a simple guy trying to be humble and keep thoughts of Krsna in my life. I am not initiated, nor am I sure I ever will be. I am not a preacher or one to debate issues till I am blue in the face. I am not about confrontation nor one for keeping my mouth shut if I see something or someone being a fool. Followers of Srila Prabhupada are few and far between, esp. in our area, so why the hell do you continue to drive a stake between yourself and your beautiful family and the community of devotees? Do I think everything at Gita Nagari is great right now? No. Do I go every weekend or every month of that matter? No. Do I love the devotees and Radha Damodar at GN…yes, yes I do.
I think it was commendable when you spoke up about the condemned being allowed back on the Dhama (although perhaps it could have been handled differently on both sides to reach a resolution given the circumstance). Yet a few months ago when you verbally confronted Mother Indrani after the Sunday feast lecture she was given on the acts of the BBT removing one simple word from the text she was reading and the one on your blackberry, I personally wanted to stand up and scream “Are you friggin kidding me, Pandu?” Stuff like that is silly to waste energy on.
In my mind it comes down to this, we are all trying to serve Krsna and, for us at Gita Nagari, Radha Damodar. Why does there have to be this continually bickering about what Srila Prabhupada would term as nonsense. Serve the deities, serve the temple, take care of your family and enjoy the association. If someone spits in your face, you have every right to spit back, but stop supporting the spitting and fanning the fire. You don’t have to be the weirdest cousin or kid in class anymore, we are all equally weird, that is why Krsna put us together.
Hare Krsna
YS, Chris
> Typically every time after I read your blog about an anti-ISKCON rant I
> leave saying to myself “Who the hell really cares?”. I am not about to get
> into a philosophical diatribe with you, I am just a simple guy trying to
> be humble and keep thoughts of Krsna in my life. I am not initiated, nor
> am I sure I ever will be. I am not a preacher or one to debate issues till
> I am blue in the face. I am not about confrontation nor one for keeping my
> mouth shut if I see something or someone being a fool. Followers of Srila
> Prabhupada are few and far between, esp. in our area, so why the hell do
> you continue to drive a stake between yourself and your beautiful family
> and the community of devotees? Do I think everything at Gita Nagari is
> great right now? No. Do I go every weekend or every month of that matter?
> No. Do I love the devotees and Radha Damodar at GN…yes, yes I do.
Is this an anti-ISKCON rant? Two of my friends have been banned from Gita-nagari, for no good reason that I know of, and the TP seems to be excluding me and my family as members of Gita-nagari because of their association. Do you think I should remain silent about that?
>
> I think it was commendable when you spoke up about the condemned being
> allowed back on the Dhama (although perhaps it could have been handled
> differently on both sides to reach a resolution given the circumstance).
> Yet a few months ago when you verbally confronted Mother Indrani after the
> Sunday feast lecture she was given on the acts of the BBT removing one
> simple word from the text she was reading and the one on your blackberry,
> I personally wanted to stand up and scream “Are you friggin kidding me,
> Pandu?” Stuff like that is silly to waste energy on.
I remember it much differently. I did not “confront” Mother Indrani. She asked if there were any questions at the end of class, and I had a genuine question. Also, it wasn’t that the BBT removed one simple word from the verse translation; they added two words that critically changed the apparent meaning of the verse, and these were the two words she stressed throughout her lecture.
I don’t normally make a big deal about the book changes (in fact, I mostly read the 1983 edition since it was my first hardcover one), but I thought it was notable that the two words she repeatedly emphasized did not exist in Srila Prabhupada’s BG until five years after disappearance.
To help refresh your memory, the verse was B.g. 9.22, and the words added were “always” and “exclusive,” two words that would severely restrict who is qualified to receive Krishna’s mercy. It’s personal because in the 1972 version I am included, but in the modern translation I (and everyone I know) is excluded. I think it’s a very relevant question: Are we able to get Krishna’s mercy or not? I wasn’t arguing one side or the other, either. I just wanted to discuss it. Perhaps if you spoke up it would have helped.
>
> In my mind it comes down to this, we are all trying to serve Krsna and,
> for us at Gita Nagari, Radha Damodar. Why does there have to be this
> continually bickering about what Srila Prabhupada would term as nonsense.
> Serve the deities, serve the temple, take care of your family and enjoy
> the association. If someone spits in your face, you have every right to
> spit back, but stop supporting the spitting and fanning the fire. You
> don’t have to be the weirdest cousin or kid in class anymore, we are all
> equally weird, that is why Krsna put us together.
>
What would you do if your friends got banned from the temple for no good reason? Would sit on your hands and smile? What if it was you who got unfairly banned, would you respect your friends for just going about their business enjoying the association, without you? What if your friends weren’t even allowed to visit you? In this case one of my friends got banned for helping organize a Hare Krishna program at the other friend’s home temple! Do you really think I’m wrong for writing about that? My goodness, if you don’t see how f’ed up that is, I don’t know what else to say.
It’s funny that you mention spitting in the face, because the friend who built the temple across the street told me he was spit upon the last time he visited the Gita-nagari temple, apparently by the former temple president. So am I supporting the spitting, or are you?
Dear Mother Tulasi devi,
Hare Krishna. I’m always interested and appreciate hearing your story and impressions. There is definitely a part of me that thinks enough is enough and just wants to walk away from Iskcon for good. I’ve even got several devotees on both sides telling me I should get out. I can’t help but resist it though. Srila Prabhupada created Iskcon and established Gita-nagari. They belong to him and I feel like I have a right to go there. It doesn’t mean that I have to overlook injustice and gross mismanagement though.
I have a little sense of the peace you’re talking about with leaving Iskcon. When I go to the “other” temple that Rasala built, it’s so simple and serene, a stark contrast to the political atmosphere that pervades Gita-nagari and I presume other Iskcon temples. Still I feel some pull to go to the big temple too and acknowledge the many friends I have there, even though none of those friendships are very deep. As Chris said, there are few devotees around, so I don’t want to burn any bridges.
I’ve also been making connections with Prabhupadanugas whenever I can, and appreciating their association. It’s a weird thing that at the big Gita-nagari temple I have no “godfamily.” I can’t believe Srila Prabhupada intended Iskcon to be like that, not in his temples. It seems so warped that I’m seen as being divisive when I mention such things and object to devotees getting banned for political reasons, but I’m beginning to get used to that psychology.
The thing is that allowing Srila Prabhupada to continue accepting disciples makes so much sense; and even with all the evidence that has presumably been destroyed or even altered, what remains still strongly supports the view that he wanted to continue initiating. So I just hope that devotees are not so brainwashed that they can’t look at it and accept what’s there. It is a longshot, but I’m not quite ready to give up fighting for a unified Iskcon. Hare Krishna.
Thank you for a nice post, prabhu.
This situation is so sad. Why can’t we acknowledge that some devotees can only feel emotionally connected through a second-generation guru, and some feel called to relate to Prabhupada directly? Perhaps both of these scenarios are acceptable? Maybe there are alternate choices in path that can lead to the same place? Maybe I am just wallowing in some modern “it’s all good” flavor of maya, but honestly, it doesn’t seem like forcing devotees out of a temple is any way to help bring more people to Krishna Consciousness.
Dear Lajja,
Hare Krishna. Thanks for commenting. I share your sentiment exactly. I personally cannot surrender to anyone other than Srila Prabhupada, but others need an intermediary. It seems to me that Krishna has arranged a situation where this has to be accepted, but my experience talking with many Iskcon devotees about it is they refuse. Many on the rtvik side are similarly adamant in their position. Looking at the historical evidence, it depends on how one weighs the various factors. Personal bias often seems to be the deciding factor.
One difficulty is figuring how it would work practically. For example, Srils Prabhupada’s Last Will indicates a requirement of managers being his initiated disciples. It seems to exclude grand-disciples and down the line. So logistically there would be some difficulties having just a free-for-all initiation system in Iskcon.
What seems exactly backwards is the current situation, having post-samadhi disciples banned from Iskcon by a gbc comprised of mostly initiating gurus. On the other hand, the reverse, except with friendly cooperation, looks like a very natural condition. If someone feels qualified to accept disciples, he or she can follow in Srila Prabhupada’s footsteps and go outside to establish temples and accept disciples. Some have already done that, and there’s no sensible objection I can think of. In any event, the notion that someone who feels a guru-disciple bond with Srila Prabhupada should be banned from Iskcon is insane.
Haribol Pandu,
I have always admired your ability to speak up, even when at times I have been concerned for you safety. One scene sticks out firmly in my mind, the night some years ago when a couple of goons masquerading as devotees confronted you in the prasadam hall at Gita nagari.
As I recall, you were seated on a chair under a single lightbulb. The goons were circling you. It seemed as if physical violence was going to erupt at any moment. Lesley was watching nervously in the dark from outside the window. The whole scene had a surreal aura, as if it belonged in a dingy police cell in a corrupt regime rather than in the communal dining hall in a Hare Krishna temple. At the time, I couldn’t fully digest the ramifications of what was really going down, but unconsciously I bookmarked the scene at the back of mind as a powerful visual impression of bullying masquerading as bhakti.
Yes, someone has to speak out sometime. It seems as if perhaps this one of the services Srila Prabhupada would like you to shoulder for now. If doing so is energizing you and deepening your bhakti, in my humble opinion I would say you are definitely doing his direct will. Regarding speaking out: I had to visit our local temple today after some months of absence. One of the gentle bhaktas living there asked why I no longer attended. I simply told him I was disillusioned with the current Iskcon, and just wanted to follow Srila Prabhupada. His jaw dropped. Another bhakta joined us, an elderly gent who has been told he must leave by two young saffron-clad bramacaris half his age because he “doesn’t fit in.” The management is backing up their arbitrary decision. My honest admission triggered a barrage of doubts and dissatisfactions. I tried to listen as empathetically as possible, leaving enlivened. It feels so good to speak the truth.
Of course, now I cannot help but feel another that another unpleasant interrogation by “authorities” is looming large in the crystal ball of my future. I simply pray to Srila Prabhupada that I will be able to handle it with as much courage and integrity as I can muster.
Aspiring to be a devotee rather than a diplomat,
Tulasi devi dasi
I read what you wrote, about how you noticed that you feel more Krsna conscious outside the association of devotees. I too have noticed this as well. Why this is, I can’t figure out. Sometimes when I am not around devotees for a couple of days or so, I feel very fired up and blissful. Then when I go back to the association, I lose my bliss. Very strange indeed. It’s sad that association with devotees is more of an austerity than a pleasure. Of course this isn’t true for all devotee association, but there is some “devotee” association that I have experienced that has sucked the spiritual intensity out of me. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them, I suppose.